straight jacket

The term anal retentive (also anally retentive), commonly abbreviated to anal, is used conversationally to describe a person who pays such attention to detail that the obsession becomes an annoyance to others, and can be carried out to the detriment of the anal-retentive person. The term derives from Freudian psychoanalysis.

I once sought therapy for my anal-retentiveness.  True story.  He suggested I disorganize my color-coordinated closet.  I found that to be a little extreme.  C'mon...like I'm really going to put my yellow and pink together.  He also suggested I just sit and stare at my closet of colored chaos...really let the anxiety fester.  I followed his request.  And today I'm proud to announce...I am still anal-retentive. 

I honestly thought I was a reformed neat freak.  Just like I thought I wasn't high-maintenance.  I guess that makes me a high-maintenance anal-retentive neat freak.  Sorry, gentlemen...I am happily married.  Speaking of my husband...

Hubby:  "What is that?!?!?!?!"
Me:  "What?"
Hubby:  "That scratch on the floor!  Look at it!  It's huge!  How did that get there?  Who did it?  Why did it happen?  Our next house is a trailer."
Me:  "Really?  I don't even see it.  It's the size of an eyelash."  (a curled one with mascara on, of course)

My dear husband notices every crumb, dust particle, and scratch that surfaces in our house.  Nothing escapes him.  A few days ago I was sitting on the floor of our hardwoods and scooted back...scratching the floor with a button on my jeans.  I thought the world might end at that day.  Or I would wake up to find all the buttons ripped off my jeans. 

I suppose when you marry a man who's more anal than you are, it makes you look completely laid-back.  For some time now I thought I had turned into a type B personality, a hippie of sorts, always going with the flow, getting back in touch with my pacific northwest tree-hugging roots.  But I have to stay honest with myself and those around me.  I'm just a girl, trying to fit in, just like everybody else....who happens to enjoy a very organized closet.